The Chronicles of Chiggsy

I don't know what the temperature is today.  I don't care.  In Toronto it is damn cold.  How cold?

• Too cold for politeness.
• Cold enough that you just run into the street, not waiting for the lights.
• I almost got hit by a car, which would have been a tragedy because i probably would not have died instantly.  I would have lingered in the foul cold air... My God, what if i could not shriek my last words: "FINISH ME OFF! FINISH THE JOB!", like the wife of a fireman would if said fireman needed to jump up and out of bed and put out a fire on their honeymoon.  I would have been the one to make that call, because it's so cold that I can't make sense, how about that!

I've made a decision.  It's a grim one. You'll hate me for it. but that's ok, because I hate you for trying to stop me:

Bring on the global warming.

I pledge to look my children in the eye and tell them:

"God Damn you, YES!  I was the one who chose that instead of you asking me 'Daddy what are cockroaches'  you instead ask me 'Daddy what are Polar Bears'!  I did it, because I was cold one day!  The next day i burned huge bags of plastic bags!  I punched holes in mufflers!  I peed on dogs! I lit my poo after dousing it in gas, and then sprayed AXE and Right Guard into the air! Wheeeeelah!"

In the time since my last post and now, I've done something incredible:

I've become truly free.

My choices, both the legs crossed, polite, and tucked in choices, and ( my fondest memories ) the spread legged, obscenity howling, spit flying, hanging out all over choices, seem to have allowed me to 'slip the noose'.  I am "quite pleased", to use a typical canadian term to describe testicle grabbing, peeing on the cat joy, that this has happened. 

I'm out. 

I'm done.

I win.

I could live anywhere, under any system.  I've somehow solved the mental "trick" that allows one to make this happen. 

I win. 

The only things left to do in life now are:

1. Learn how to promulgate this knowledge, to proliferate it, to disseminate it widely, much like the children of Kemp.
2. Decide on my preferences, like where am i going to be  "Freeman Beckford".  Snow/Sand, Light/Darkness, Filthy/Clean , ad nauseam,  and not necessarily in handy dichotomies either. 
   Manichaeism  is  a doctrine which has quite adequately  exposed the  crabs on its pudenda.
3. Serve up my success.   I've said in the past, privately, that my success will be akin to a rich banquet.  I'll invite  everyone I know.  Some people will enjoy the meal, while it will choke and poison others.  However, everyone is going to eat.
4. Settle some old scores.   Living well is the best revenge, baby.  I can, however, make do with less attractive options.
5. Learn as many languages as i can. 
   
6. This goes last, but really it is the most important.  I would like to find the new "Land of the Free".
   

This distinction is lost here.  We allegedly have a free market system in place.  Supposedly we are a quasi-capitalist country.  However, I can't help but notice that as Canadians, we don't properly excercise our power as consumers.  Sadly, not excercising that power allows companies to view us as "investors"

 Consider:

I go to Bell Sympatico, because well, I don't trust Rogers.  I am told there that I need to sign up for a year contract.  I am also told that it will take 8 business days  to get my service installed.  The only way that I would accept this would be if I were to get a share of the profits from Sympatico's business.  That way , I would promise to provide funds for some period, expecting that I would get a return on my money.  In other words, an "investor". 

What I expected, and in fact demand, is that i get the same deals I got in Red China, damnit!  As a "customer" the unspoken agreement with any sort of service, especially the service offered by a former monopolist, is simply this:

"Every payment period, we will evaluate the service I was provided.  If I am satisfied, then I shall continue to use said service.  If I am unsatisfied, or moody, or want to try some better service, or don't like how I am treated, or just to be crazy, I will stop payment.  It is incumbent upon you, the service provider, to ensure that none of the above happens.  In return, you may keep all the profits accruing from our compact."

That is how a customer should think.  Service!  I don't care if you go out of business, that's your problem.  Service!  You want to make poor business decisions, then your investors should feel the sting.. not I.  Service!  You sure as hell don't tell me that it's going to take 8 business days to get the service that everyone else in say, Sierra Leone gets in 2-3!

Pfft!  Don't worry... I am developing a plan to free the canadians ;)

Ok, I am not going to be taking this cold weather well.  Sure, I was born in Canada.  Sure, I have lived winters before.  Sure, I know what to do.  However, the road to broken dreams is paved with compromise.  Canadians compromise a great deal... but I have learned from my teacher Hong Kong, and I don't think I'll be doing that anymore. 

( Why can't i have tab completion in a textarea? Hmm?  Why? )

The Philippines was  exactly  just right:  Hotter than hell, all the time.  Listen:

• People are lovely in the heat.
• People are ugly in the cold ( faces twisted and dry, or in my case, ashy and frowning ).
• I'm an internet engineer ( sure, I love to keep my title buzzword compliant.) so I don't need to suffer through this for work.
• Hot is better.
• Caliente es lo mejor.
• Cold sucks.
• I hate not just skiing, and snowboarding, but skiers, and snowboarders too, for praying for snow. 
  
• Hockey is great, but best watched by me on satellite while complaining about the heat.

I miss home, which is, I've realized, the rootin, tootin, shootin, Philippines. 

This.
Is.
My.
Last.
Winter.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Wr2Phvv9_jM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ikK97WlJzY&NR

We begin with the links above. 

I've always loved watching the World Cup.  I've also always sworn that I'll continue to watch football
 
( soccer.  I've got to call it soccer here, in Canada, while NFL football is still on.  Sorry.. we  need to work out some sort of system! )

after the WC is over, but I never do.  However, what i've done recently is begun the process of abstracting my love of sports into a love of art.  Watch the two clips at the beginning of this post.  Consider:

It's true indeed that  sometimes, things which are still contain beauty.  However, for the uberfan, for the man such as myself, who watches womens basketball, lawn bowling, playground fights.. it is important to expand the classic "Lookin' Good" concept of beauty to include motion.  I sincerely feel that it is only dynamically that one can truly appreciate the loveliness of some things.  For example:

• Summertime hot girls, strutting free and crazy on the way to the bar on a sweaty summer night, the still life is good, but the jiggle and the pop, the flip of the hair, the kick, as they heel toe their way past you to the front of the line... Beauty is in the motion.
• Shawn Kemp. We are talking here about the incredible experience of seeing top notch athleticism.  Many basketball players are masters of execution, and that in itself is lovely, but Kemp was something different... Watch again.  His game reminds you of that first day, say, playing a sport with your dad or mentor, when you realized that experience, head games, tricks be damned, they can't check you!  Mix in the effortless look of his power and speed , and recall that the hardest thing in the world is to make it look easy.  Beautiful.
• The joy of the dance.  We've all seen it... he/she/heshe looks great standing against the wall, but  the moves are so stiff you can't watch.  Conversely,  we've seen that swine lightly step out onto the floor, and just uncork the hot sauce ... each step, each shake natural, free, fluid.. and you remember that sexuality is not about holding still...
• That hip flip.  You know the one.  Watching the walk, or the dance of the low cut jeans as they snap up and down. Models do it sure.. but the best, the absolute best is when you just get one shake.. say, when that special lady pops her hip out to catch the washing basket when it starts to slip, and your eyes snap to the hipbone as it swings impossibly far out...
  
  

Enough.  Four simple examples, some clips, etc.  I've got to get to the gym.... but again ruminate on the deliciousness of the dynamic nature of beauty... Still life means art.  I want the poets in motion.

Ok, I have to quickly say that cell phones here suck.  I just paid a damn fortune for 1/3 the service that i had in the Philippines.  Robbery.  Simply robbery.  Vomitous. Much more on this as the bills come in.  

I realized some very important things about myself in the crucible of the 17.5+ hour flight back to grey Toronto Town.

It seems that I have passed a critical phase in life:  I was next to a screaming toddler and a howling baby for the trip.  Meant nothing to me.  I slept easily, deeply, in fact.  Sometimes I would laugh and think

"You filthy howlers, indeed i celebrate internally whatever pain you are feeling..."

Other times i would think:

"Poor  shriekers... ah well we all did this once.  No living human can maintain the moral high ground over babyhowls..."

This is a crucial step to take .. since in the past crying babies used to make me cringe, like fingernails on a chalkboard.

Also... damn it, the flight did not seem all that long to me!  17.5 h!  Not so bad! 

Truly, time does move faster when you age. No question about it.  I completely feel it now, and see it.  Ouch.  This means that the second half of your life will whiz by faster than the first half.  Great ;)

This is a sad day for me.  I've been in the Philippines for over a year... laughing, loving, running ( insects ) and in general, being happier, angrier, sadder, and well.. juicier then I found it practical to be in Canada.  Today I fly back home, to grey Toronto town.  I love this place, love the people.  and I'll be back.  Moist-eyed I lay down my life here gently, as Merlin laid down Arthur.  I'll be back.