2 posts from 2007

I don't know what the temperature is today.  I don't care.  In Toronto it is damn cold.  How cold?

• Too cold for politeness.
• Cold enough that you just run into the street, not waiting for the lights.
• I almost got hit by a car, which would have been a tragedy because i probably would not have died instantly.  I would have lingered in the foul cold air... My God, what if i could not shriek my last words: "FINISH ME OFF! FINISH THE JOB!", like the wife of a fireman would if said fireman needed to jump up and out of bed and put out a fire on their honeymoon.  I would have been the one to make that call, because it's so cold that I can't make sense, how about that!

I've made a decision.  It's a grim one. You'll hate me for it. but that's ok, because I hate you for trying to stop me:

Bring on the global warming.

I pledge to look my children in the eye and tell them:

"God Damn you, YES!  I was the one who chose that instead of you asking me 'Daddy what are cockroaches'  you instead ask me 'Daddy what are Polar Bears'!  I did it, because I was cold one day!  The next day i burned huge bags of plastic bags!  I punched holes in mufflers!  I peed on dogs! I lit my poo after dousing it in gas, and then sprayed AXE and Right Guard into the air! Wheeeeelah!"

( Then of course since I've eaten nothing but meat for years, the CJD will have me gnashing and howling some gibberish. )

In the time since my last post and now, I've done something incredible:

I've become truly free.

My choices, both the legs crossed, polite, and tucked in choices, and ( my fondest memories ) the spread legged, obscenity howling, spit flying, hanging out all over choices, seem to have allowed me to 'slip the noose'.  I am "quite pleased", to use a typical canadian term to describe testicle grabbing, peeing on the cat joy, that this has happened. 

I'm out. 

I'm done.

I win.

I could live anywhere, under any system.  I've somehow solved the mental "trick" that allows one to make this happen. 

I win. 

The only things left to do in life now are:

1. Learn how to promulgate this knowledge, to proliferate it, to disseminate it widely, much like the children of Kemp.
2. Decide on my preferences, like where am i going to be  "Freeman Beckford".  Snow/Sand, Light/Darkness, Filthy/Clean , ad nauseam,  and not necessarily in handy dichotomies either. 
   Manichaeism  is  a doctrine which has quite adequately  exposed the  crabs on its pudenda.
3. Serve up my success.   I've said in the past, privately, that my success will be akin to a rich banquet.  I'll invite  everyone I know.  Some people will enjoy the meal, while it will choke and poison others.  However, everyone is going to eat.
4. Settle some old scores.   Living well is the best revenge, baby.  I can, however, make do with less attractive options.
5. Learn as many languages as i can. 
   
6. This goes last, but really it is the most important.  I would like to find the new "Land of the Free".
   

Still, I am feeling great.  Note however, that I did not say "Perfection" or a "beautiful life", or "a good life".  It's just my life.